my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
