When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
