were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
