Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
