Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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