is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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