therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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