Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
