Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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