Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
