Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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