Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We had sex on a dog bed..
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
