If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
