its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
