I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Randomize
