halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize