omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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