fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize