I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
