its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
