"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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