"it" just moved
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
