Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
