Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
