fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
