You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
