I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
