im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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