OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
