You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
