Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We were destined to go to rehab together
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
