Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
