Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
