Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
