You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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