It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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