i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
