Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
