Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Im part way to drunk.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
