"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
