I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
