Soap is not a condiment
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize