You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
