I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
