Tell her she can't have a vagina
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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