We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize