shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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