Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize