Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dear god my vagina.
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