I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
