It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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