my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
