I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So squirting runs in the family.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
