If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
