No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
