The maid of honor just puked.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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