they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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