I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
