I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
