This is not my ceiling
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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