she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
